4 Must-Do’s, before you say “I Do”
You finally found THE ONE!
That perfect person for you. Your soul mate. Well now it’s time. You are going to marry this person, who you have known an entire 6 months, 2 years, maybe even 5 years. Here’s the problem with the math. You are both 34 years old and you have known each other 5 years. That means there is 29 years of your potential spouse’s life that you have no clue about. You don’t buy a house or a car and just ask about the last 4 or 5 years do you? Trust me in my years as a police officer, detective and private investigator nothing causes a bad start to a marriage or makes for a quick road to divorce more, than failure to check out these 4 Must Do’s:
#1 – CREDIT HISTORY
Even if your soul mate has told you about past issues and even if you are going to have a joint account, you need to do this. The number one thing married people fight about is money. The number one cause of divorce is money. So why be surprised once you’re stuck about credit scores, past debts, current debts, etc. Especially since once you’re married you can now be held responsible for your spouse’s debt and it will affect your credit score too.
#2 – PERSONAL HISTORY as told by family and friends
Who knows you best? The people that have known you all your life. My son went to visit his girlfriend’s parents and get an accidental warning flag from her parents. They took him aside and asked how things were going and then asked him, how do you deal with our daughter’s aloofness? There had been something bugging him about their relationship and his parents called it. She was aloof. Her aloofness led to his feeling ignored, rejected and undervalued and ultimately ended the relationship. If they don’t offer any history lessons, then ask. However, family often lets you in on faults either on purpose or by accident.
#3 – PRIOR MARRIAGES / ENGAGEMENTS
What if your love dove used to be a walking time bomb that used to assault his wife and kids. What if the things he told you about his ex-wife really aren’t true and it was him that was the problem. Maybe there is nothing there, but maybe there is. It’s worth the small cost and the time to read it to be sure what you are getting into. If your fiancé is hesitant and resists, you really need to check it out. Maybe even break it off there. What about truth, trust and transparency in a relationship. Secret’s can ruin it all.
#4 – BASIC LEVEL BACKGROUND INFO
Peace of mind is a common reason people ask for background checks. It is second only to due diligence. I would say both are applicable with marriage. Peace of mind for you going into marriage, due diligence for your children and parents down the road. You owe it to your future family to ensure if this person you’re marrying will be who they claim. The cob webs your spouse admits to being in their closet may actually be skeletons. If you work in the government, in law enforcement or in politics you really want to be sure as it could affect your career.
I hope these 4 Must Do’s help you protect your future and help your peace of mind going in to the most serious, life altering contract you will ever make. After 26 years together with my wife, I can say marriage is a wonderful thing. I wish you well. Be looking for our follow up to this post, 10 Must-Do’s before you file for Divorce.
Should you need assistance with any or all of the 4 Must Do’s, please call or go to our website and send us an email. Paladin Investigations & Protection would love to help you be safe. 734-230-7177 or go to paladinpipro.com/